FETISHES OR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS
We all have our dirty little fetishes in bed, but how dirty can you get and how obsessed can you be? Fetishes are all around us, whether we see it or not.
* Have you ever caught your partner paying just too much attention to your feet?
And we mean drooling over them…
* Do you get turned on by your partner in tight leather?
You like them tight… huh?
*Do you fantasize about your partner in the nude?
* Or secretly wish your partner was rather well blessed when it came to assets?
You like them BIG, don’t you?
* Does your partner love the feel of Lycra or silk?
Kinks in, baby!
* Or thinks that doing it in the car is actually exciting?
Adventurous now… are we?
Fret not! You are not weird, neither is your partner.
Yes, you are sexually obsessed and so is your partner, but that’s no reason for you to worry. Fetishes in human beings vary from person to person. A sexual obsession that is related to physical intimacy and sex is an essential part of your bedside behavior. Most people refer to such an obsession in common language as a sexual fetish.
What is that?!
In medical or psychological terms, a fetish is an object, a practice or a body part, that becomes the focus of a person’s desire while getting it on with a partner. The scientific term applied to fetishes is paraphilia.
These sexual obsessions are relatively harmless as long as they enhance your bedside satisfaction or desire. However, the moment they become essential in your life, you’re treading dangerous ground. To make things clearer, a fetish in bed is healthy as long as it adds to your pleasure while making out, and enhances your libido. It is not healthy if you can’t function in bed without it.
, or claims to have one these days. They are no more a taboo topic in several societies, and many people openly claim to have a sexual obsessions and fetishes in bed. A quick surf on any internet search site will introduce you to a host of fetishes, some, surely you wouldn’t even know exists.
Most sexual obsessions are socially acceptable, because they’ve been around for so long. Chinese men being turned on by disfigured feet a century ago, men all over the world being turned on by barbie sized women now, and women preferring muscled men, are fetishes that have slowly been accepted into society. Similarly, by far the most common sexual obsession, podophilia, or an interest for feet, is slowly being accepted the world over.
Deviants are normal to people who love spicing up their bedtime stories with something new to do with each other. Nobody can ever claim that fetishes are restricted to certain categories of people alone. Often straight people indulge in their sexual obsessions more passionately than anyone else.
A FETISH CAN MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP?
Unlike random fetishes like interest in shopping or being addicted to talking over the phone, sexual fetishes cover a broad spectrum of the world’s population.
Almost every second person has a unique interest when it comes to sex and sexual fetishes. Some people love indulging in their fetish to add zing to their nightlife, but others go overboard and indulge in sexual fetishes as their only means of satisfaction in bed.
People with disturbing or strange obsessions in bed are often ostracized in any society, which label them as disturbed people.
It’s always better to keep the kink within the bedroom. This is something anyone with an interest in a fetish should always remember. Unless your fetish is accepted by society at large, it would be advisable to keep it low profile. Avoiding attention is always better than inviting it, unless you’re an exhibitionist, that is!
If a sexual fetish in bed can make your partner uncomfortable, you better avoid it. No obsessive sexual interest is worth more than your partner. A couple can preferably indulge in their fetishes only if both of them consent, and are comfortable with it. Never force an obsession on your partner. It could turn out to be your worst nightmare. Incorporating an fetish into your love lives, if both of you are comfortable with it, is the best way to keep that sexual energy on a high. Fetishes can increase your satisfaction, just like talking while having sex, and help you keep the magic alive. Experimenting always helps!
At times however, a few accepted fetishes are questionable especially when they are disturbing in character. As long as such obsessions are kept to yourself, nobody can question you. They become ethically and morally wrong once they affect someone else who does not want to be affected. Just because you like pain… not everyone’s going to like it!
The Cause of a Fetish can be Several and None
Like the normal interests of a person that depends on various genetic, environmental and social factors which usually influence the person during childhood and puberty, fetishes stem from similar varied factors too. Sigmund Freud, the psychologist who came out with his theories in the last century, claimed that all fetishes and obsessions were neurotic in nature.
He believed that every deviant and fetish stemmed from thoughts and interests formed during one’s childhood. He explained fetishes such as podophilia (an interest for feet), and related obsessions claiming, infants obsess about feet as they usually crawl around their parents’ feet for a larger part of their infanthood.
Similarly he claimed obsessions related to sucking breasts and oral sex stemmed from fixations people had with their oral stage, a stage characterized in infanthood by excessive dependency on the mouth.
His explanations could not explain the causes for most other fetishes, and so his theories (as sensible as they sometimes seemed) were ignored.
Today we have tried to stop understanding where sexual fetishes originate. Instead, we are trying to understand people who seem excessively dependant on them. It’s not important to know what causes it, how to deal with it makes more sense! A person with an intense sexual fetish, is not one by choice, and shouldn’t be judged by his or her seemingly abnormal preferences in bed.
TYPES OF FETISHES OR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS
There are many types of fetishes and dirty little secrets that all of us have, especially in bed. You may think you’re the dirty one, but check these types of fetishes and you’ll see how common fetishes really are.
There are many types of fetishes in the world, and every single day, there are new ones being created in our own heads, or in reality.
And thankfully, dirty little secrets like fetishes are more commonly accepted than ever before.
Being extremely cultural in their origin, sexual obsessions and secrets in bed can vary across people, countries, religions, and continents.
Some however are common to the whole human race.
Here are a few types of fetishes that aren’t really openly acknowledged by people around the world, but well, they’re all doing it!
Agoraphilia: Getting’ it on out in public is hot, hot, hot! [Read: Flashing in public ]
Alphmegamia: Bring on the older, seasoned men.
Altocalciphilia: High heels make this person orgasm.
Hirsutophilia: Aroused by armpit hair.
Pubephilia: Don’t ever shave for your partner if they’re in this league, because pubic hair is where it’s at.
Exhibitionism: This is someone who enjoys surprising others by exposing their naughty bits. [Read: Exhibitionism and Public flashing confessions ]
Latronudia: Doctor, doctor! This person loves exposing him or herself to a physician. The health insurance bills must be staggering…
Lactaphilia: Mammaries full of milk don’t make just babies happy…
Martymachlia: Aroused by having others watch during lovemaking. Get these folks hooked up with a voyeur, pronto. [ Read: couples on the beach ]
Nasophilia: This person gets mentally erect about their partner.
We all have our own ‘dirty little secrets in bed’!
So the next time someone drools over your feet, or obsesses over your undergarments, remember they are as normal as any other human being that co-exists on this watery, warm and wild blue planet… we all call home.
So if you do come across a partner that has a few weird bed secrets or enjoys one of the several types of fetishes, don’t hate the player, hate the game. Or heck, just enjoy the show.
But all said and done, just make sure your partner does not have a fetish that seems too wild to handle or they just can’t function in bed without it. If that ever does happen, perhaps it really is time to share your problem with someone.
But other than that, enjoy your own dirty little secrets in bed with your partner, just as long as they enjoy your bed secrets!
Remember, the types of fetishes are many and a new type may be in the making right now. But as long as you enjoy it, and it hurts no one, why worry about harmless dirty little secrets that only enhance your pleasure?